You Need to Get Out More!

It almost never fails when I am at a  social gathering at some point I will be told “You Need to Get Out More!”  This isn’t because I am agoraphobic or  suffer from depression but  is typically in response to my not being able to actively participate in some of the conversations. I admit I do not know any “Real Housewives“ by name or even by city for that matter. I don’t know who has  gone to exile island on “Survivor” and I have enough trouble keeping  up with my laundry let alone  “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”.  I am not even sure why we would want  to be keeping up with them.

I don’t watch much television anymore. I used to enjoy the “Today” show in the morning. But lately,  I can’t tell the difference between “Today” and “Access Hollywood”.  I still watch “60  Minutes“, but the news program’s segments rarely make it into the conversation.

After the last time I was on the receiving end of a pointed finger and told “You need to get our more!” I thought well maybe I do. I have been reading and studying tigers and other big cats for my Global Field Master of Zoology program. I read in an article ” Can China Save the Amur Tiger”  published by environment YALE that according to naturalist lore big-predator researchers often take on the traits of the animals they study. The tiger is a solitary elusive creature, had I started to mimic the tiger?

I decided to do a little research, you know, “get out more“,  to see what I was missing.  In the supermarket line, I  picked up a Star and  realized that I had not heard of most of the  “famous” people featured on the pages of the  magazine. Teen Mom?  J-Woww? I have heard of Lindsay Lohan,  but I don’t care if she is wasted again. Do you?

I watched the Today show and listened to Donald Trump blowing off about President Obama’s birth certificate. I poured another cup of coffee. I can’t really look at Trump when he speaks, and no it is not his hair, it is the way his mouth moves when he is speaking. There is something about his mouth that bothers me, and it is more than just what is coming out of it too.   Anyway, Trump mentioned that his show, The Celebrity Apprentice was the #1 show on NBC. So I thought ok, Donald, I will watch your show to find out what I am missing.

I tuned in to watch the Celebrity Apprentice one Sunday evening.  I did recognize Meatloaf, John Rich, Gary Busey,  Marlee Matlin, Star Jones, Dionne Warwick,  LaToya Jackson and Lisa Rinna so I thought, I am not that out of touch. But then there was Lil John, Hope Dworaczyk and NeNe Leakes.  Never heard of them.

The first scene I caught, the episode was almost over because they were already  in the board room.  Trump was getting ready to tell Lisa Rinna you’re fired. But before he sends her packing, he makes a remark about her lips.  Inappropriate banter for a board room isn’t it?  You tell me, I have been living in semi-seclusion.

The next episode I caught was like a never ending blab fest from NeNe Leakes, who, is a celebrity because of  the  “Real Housewives of Atlanta”. (Thank you google.)  Who can listen to her?  She is absolutely dreadful. Her outburst at the beginning of this episode  even made Star Jones appear to be a demure shrinking violet!   Trump and his offspring allowed Leakes to rant like a lunatic, even in front of the client.  Surely in the real world she would have been fired, right? But this type of behavior is rewarded on this show because sadly, this must be what the people that are still watching television want to see. Trump said that this was the #1 show on NBC, so it must be true, right?

I stopped watching television  a few years ago. Not by a deliberate decision, but my interest in the programs waned over time.  After the end of “Seinfeld”, things just were not the same.  “Two and a Half Men” started off funny, but then became predictable and boring. Every episode the same cookie cutter story. Then  Charlie Sheen has a melt down or whatever you call it.  Even a poor isolated soul such as myself could not escape Sheen-mania. And maybe that is only because my ears picked up when he claimed to have tiger blood.  Just what tiger’s  already struggling to survive from poachers  in the wild need,  a complete imbecile claiming to be impervious to addiction because of some concoction of anabolic steroids he imbibes, called  tiger blood.   grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

What  bothers me is that in a tough economy, when many are struggling to make ends meet,  so many people spent money on a ticket to listen to the rantings of Sheen. Think if all that money could have gone to animal shelters or food pantries, or  tiger conservation programs.

This was the end of my “get out more” experiment.  I tried to see what I was missing and guess what? I am not missing a thing!  I am perfectly content to keep on my path studying lions, and tigers and this winter, I even watched bears hibernate. That’s right, I watched bears hibernate and you know what? The bears were far more interesting than any program on television.

I have decided that if a person watches all of these programs, feels like they know any of the “Real Housewives” well enough to think of them as friends, or spends a disproportionate amount of time strategizing how a Survivor will keep their torch burning, then it is perhaps, they that need to get out more.

So the next time, someone looks at me  and says “You Need to Get Out More!” in a snarky tone because I don’t know who  Snickerdoodle or Snooky  is or care that she is  tanned to leather. I am going to look over my glasses and in my best Elaine Benes say to  them…

“You first!”